30
Jul
5 things not to do on a first date!!
2010 AT 3:26 pm5 things not to do on a date!!! Check it out!
30
Jul
10 dating tips
2010 AT 3:20 pmI found this article here.
Top 10 Dating Tips
- Get prepared for dating. If you really want to succeed in the dating game, be ready to commit to dating. Half-heartedness won’t work. In fact, it won’t even get you half-way. If you really want to date, put some effort into it. Do some research and think about what you want out of dating. Prepare yourself for the inevitable rejection we all face at some point in dating and commit not to give up.
- Get your act together. Begin a regime of looking your best. Join a gym, read health magazines, get fit and start a diet. Get your hair cut or styled and begin a new regime of good grooming or beauty treatment. Though it will not find you a date in itself, you will feel a million times more confident about yourself, and others can sense that.
- Go shopping and treat yourself to new clothes and even a whole new look. Get your image right, one that you can manage and live with, but one that flatters you. Don’t try to be someone you’re not, but amplify and accentuate your positives. Throw out those tired jeans, old sweaters or cardigans and spruce yourself up. Your date will appreciate that you demonstrated some effort.
- Think about what you want to gain from dating and what timeframes you expect. Do you see yourself married within 2 years? If you do, then approach dating accordingly. If you are more laid back and don’t take dating too seriously then ask yourself some honest questions about why you are dating and what you hope to achieve. If it is purely sex then ask yourself if you are about to be honest with those you hope to date.
- Surround yourself with people who will support your dating aims. By following the first four tips you will feel better and be more focused. Don’t sabotage this by sitting around with friends who are negative about love and relationships (often the married ones). Start attending social functions frequented by singles. Sitting alongside couples at dinner parties in suburbia is not necessarily where you need to be right now.
- Choose those you have a good chance of dating. Be realistic. In other words, your dating is based on the whole package you present as well as just your personality. If you are looking for a glamour girl or boy and want to date someone trendy and gorgeous, great! Just know that others will expect you to be the same.
- Join clubs, societies, sports events, drama groups — anything that might help you meet like-minded potential partners. You will not meet people by staying indoors and playing video games – many have tried and failed at this approach.
- Take time off from dating occasionally if it’s not going well or causing dating fatigue. Recharging your batteries and keeping confidence and optimism levels high is an absolute must. We all hit rough patches, but don’t let your search for love become a death march. Date in phases if necessary.
- Enjoy dating for what it is, dating. It is meeting people and socializing and spending time in the company of stimulating individuals who may or may not play a bigger part in your life down the road. The fact is, most people have something interesting to offer. While you may not be out on the dating scene looking for new friends, you may well find one or two fabulous people along the way.
- Never make yourself too available. People like mystery and enigma and the thrill of the chase when dating. As part of keeping up the mystery, do not sleep with your dates early on. The longer a person is made to chase and fall for you within reason, the more likely that love may blossom. (And yes, this goes for both men AND women!) If the chemistry peaks too early, your emotions may never have time to catch up and the relationship will eventually wither away.
Pretty good advice here. I would disagree a bit with point 8. Continue dating even if things are not going well. Eventually you will find your way again. Other than that, take some of these to heart and implement them!
22
Jul
Tips for a first date|Put your damn cell phone away!
2010 AT 1:38 pmGreat video I found. If you are on a date, keep your cell phone away! Don’t check it. If a girl constantly checks her phone on the first date, get rid of her. It’s rude and disrespectful to you.
18
Jul
Most relationships don’t work out
2010 AT 12:49 pmMany relationship coaches and books out there will try to sell you fluff such as:
“go to therapy to save your marriage”—–what does a therapist really know? How many marriages have they really saved?
“tips to save your broken relationship”—–once its dead, move on
“tips to get your ex back”—–move on
“get her to like you more”—–either she likes you or not
and on on and on. Here at asklovejones.com, we never shy away from the truth! There is a simple fact in regards to dating,
Most relationships don’t work out!! Let me repeat that. Most relationships don’t work out!!
Think about your own experiences. Think about your past relationships and dating. What happened to most of the people that you dated? Either they dumped you or you dumped them. Very simple.
This is not a negative or “doom and gloom” post at all. You just have to come to the realization that most relationships don’t work and you have to be comfortable with that. This will keep you from dwelling on the past, i.e. trying to get ex-girlfriends,ex wives and girls who have rejected you. Think about this guys. If a woman had one million dollars, would she ever throw that away? The answer is of course not! A good man (to the good women) is worth more than one million dollars. So if she were really into you, why would she dump you? When she dumps you, she’s not into you. For this very reason, you must avoid the advice that tries to “mend your broken relationships” or “get the ex back.” Learn from your mistakes and move on.
No need to worry though. You will date many people before you find a good one. The key is that you only need to find one.
Here’s a quick sum up:
Continue to date and put yourself out there.
Know that the relationship may or may not work out.
If it works out, great!
If not, no need to worry because most relationships don’t work out anyways. If they don’t work out, take stock of what happened and move on to meet more people.
16
Jul
5 keys to a successful first date
2010 AT 2:37 pmThe first date is key, as you only have one time to make a good impression. Many guys don’t get to the second date with women. Want to up your chances of getting to that elusive second date? Here are some keys that you want to focus on:
1. Show up on time. Nothing makes you look worse than being late for the first date. If possible you want to show up ten minutes early. To a woman, showing up late tells her that you do not respect her time and she will be put off by that.
2. Have at least 3 good questions to ask her to keep her engaged. You want to know the funny thing about women? They like you more when you listen to them talk about themselves. Strange huh? Keep her engaged by keeping her talking about herself. Most guys go on the first date and brag about themselves and talk about themselves most of the time. This is why they don’t get the second date from the women that they really like. Don’t do what they do. Instead have good open ended questions that you can ask her. One good question to ask is “what would you do with one million dollars?” If you listen, then you should be able to piggyback more questions off her answer. The goal is to keep her talking.
3. Keep your hands to yourself. Many guys will try to put their arm around her, hug her, etc. to see if she is interested in him. You don’t want to be like those losers who don’t get second dates right? They have the wrong approach. Instead, see how many times she tries to touch you. See if she accidentally bumps into you, touches your shoulder, or taps you when you tell a funny joke. That’s how you gauge if she’s interested in you; instead of trying to give her a hug.
4. Don’t talk about or make future plans. So many guys try to make future plans on the first date……..how uninteresting. You want her to question whether or not you will call her for the second date. You have to be a challenge. When you make plans or talk about the future, she already knows that she has you and she might get bored. Nothing worse than a bored woman. Let her talk about the future. If she says something like “we should do that next time” or “you should take me to” then those are good signs. Under no circumstances ever should you plan a date or talk about future dates with her on the date.
5. Walk her to the car and wish her good night. Do not go for the kiss. When the date is ending, walk her to her house or car depending on the circumstances of the first date, and wish her a good night. Don’t say stuff like ” I really had a great time” or “We should do it again soon!” Just slyly wish her a good night and end it there.
If you have done these things right and she is truely interested in you one of two things will happen next:
When you call her (4 days after the date) she will be eager to go out with you again.
or
(If you have a really hot lead) She will call or contact you first. When she does you go for the kill and set up the second date.
The girl may not be interested in you. No worries, that’s why you have the other 9 phone numbers for ; )
12
Jul
“Top 5 signs that your girlfriend is about to break up with you”
2010 AT 7:57 pmI found another interesting article on match dot com’s dating advice page. Here is the full article. It is titled “Are you about to be dumped?” The article was pretty interesting, but some of the observations were a little off in my opinion. Let me give you my top five signs first.
1. She is getting more distant. Remember the beginning of the relationship, when she used to call often and you could hear her interest in you in her voice? Well, by now that is long gone. Remember when she used to call you often? If you find that her calls and contacts are becoming few and far between, you might want to watch out.
2. She is starting to work out again. One of the most obvious signs that your girl is thinking about leaving you is her workout routine. If she works out consistently from the time that you two have been together, then this may not apply. If your girl hardly ever works out, then all of a sudden wants to get in better shape, then this could be a red flag. Maybe she just wants to get in better shape, or maybe she is trying to look as good as possible because she is going back on the market.
3. Her friends are a bit more distant. Remember in the beginning when her friends were super nice to you and had nothing but good things to say about you? Well if they are not as nice as they used to be, maybe they know something…….
4. She is not having sex with you as much or not at all. Women who are in love with their men want to have sex with them. If she starts giving excuses for not wanting to have sex, watch out.
5. She starts picking fights. She will pick fights for no reason or start to bring up past things that made her mad. As her interest in you goes down, the fights will go up.
My advice pretty much mirrors the advice on the match dot com article. I disagree with the following reason though:
She stops criticizing you.
This makes no sense to me. A girl who constantly criticizes you really doesn’t like you. Any man who is dumb enough to stay with a women who constantly criticizes you deserves to be tormented. She should be dumped/avoided at all costs.
Surprisingly, every thing else is pretty much on point.
If you see any of these signs guys, be ready. If I were you, I would probably start collecting phone numbers 
29
Jun
Text follow-up after a date?
2010 AT 1:57 pmHow’s it going everyone? I found a question on the e-harmony dating advice page here, it’s called Text follow up after date — Nice gesture or insult? The guy asking the question says this:
“I had a first date and thought it was going well. Then, at end of the date, she did not want to kiss goodnight and backed out of previously made plans. Other than that, all other indications were that she was still interested, but those are two very big “ifs” as far as I am concerned. Not being sure how to read things, instead of calling, I texted her the next day to say I had a good time, etc. I did not hear back. Did I not hear back because the text was an insult or because she is just no longer interested?”
There are a few issues with what he has said, so let’s take each issue one at a time. First, he tries to kiss the girl on the first date. I usually recommend that you wait until the second date before you go in for the first kiss, so there’s a mistake on his part already. Second, he made plans for another date on the date. This is a big no-no. If the girl talks about next time or another date, that is sign of interest in you, but the guy should never ever mention another date. He should be focused on the task at hand, which is his current date. You should never ever makes plans for another date on the current date. To follow up his massive mistakes, he texts her on the next day telling her that he had a good time. He is looking for confirmation from the girl that she had a good time and that she has interest in him, which she doesn’t. She probably did not tell him that she had a good time, in fact we know that she is not interested in him because she backed away from the kiss. Girls who like you want you to kiss them, period. Basically this guy was looking for reassurance and to see if there was chemistry there. He had no plan whatsoever for the first date, which is why he failed.
For a first date, you should look to achieve these objectives:
1. Be on time for the date. Being late may lose you brownie points.
2. Take her to a place where you can get to know her.
3. Have a few open ended questions prepared for her. The whole object of the first date is to get her talking most of the time. People like you, when you listen to them talk about themselves. This is key.
4. Look for signs of her interest. Do you see the glow in her eye? Is she touching you? If so, then she is interested in you.
5. End the date. Walk her to her car or house door step and wish her good night. Do not tell her that you will call her, see her soon, etc. Make her wonder.
6. Wait a few days before calling her to set up another date. Don’t text or email her, make the call. If she has very high interest level in you, she may contact you first.(a very hot lead)
Do these simple things and you will know if the woman is interested in you. And most importantly, never text follow-up on a date!
29
Jun
Ultimatums, why you should never accept them
2010 AT 1:05 pmDon’t be a sucker like this poor guy and accept ultimatums from a controlling woman. Here’s a direct link to the story.
23
Jun
All dating advice is not created equal
2010 AT 12:33 pmWhat exactly is an expert? In many aspects of our society, an expert is seen as someone who goes to college and receives the highest degrees in their field. Whether that be a master’s degree or doctorate, many who achieve these accomplishments are then seen as “experts” or “gurus.”
But is a person who gets the top degree really an expert? Can you really learn something from a book with no experience? If you are in the hard science field, like chemistry or biology, then sure you can become an expert from book knowledge. But what about dating?
The simple answer is no. The people who are seen as the experts and authorities in the dating world, have the doctor titles and degrees from universities. Just because you have a doctorate or fancy title does not mean you are a dating expert! Just look at their record. All these doctors, psychiatrists, etc. all give the same dating advice and the divorce rate is still near 50 percent. Even in the marriages that don’t end in divorce, how many of those marriages are happy and fulfilling for both partners? I would say at least 40 percent of the non-divorce marriages are happy marriages. What is better, getting divorced or being miserable in a marriage? You decide, but both are terrible situations to be in. This means that the “experts” have a 90 percent failure rate. How can you call yourself an expert if your failure rate is 90 percent?
You are not an expert if you fail this much. The problem is that many of these so called experts are out of touch. Many of them are now married and have not dated for years. How can you give dating advice if you have been out of the dating game for years? You can’t. This is why many of them recommend the same rehashed info that you have been hearing for years. The same information that simply does not work.
This is the reason why I started my blog in the first place. I was tired of seeing “follow the herd” type of advice. When you follow the herd, you get herd results. To get different results, you have to step back and approach everything differently.
Unlike most of the dating coaches today, I am in the dating the game. I am in the trenches dating. I have interviewed thousands of women and counting. You can be confident that any advice I give is relevant and has been tried because I am out here doing it, and not just talking about it.
With that being said, be very careful about the advice that you listen to.
21
Jun
Want to get more girls? Get rid of the gut
2010 AT 4:01 pmOne of my readers sent me an email asking for advice on how to pick up more women. I asked him how often he works out, does he play any sports, etc. Let’s face it. Looks do matter to women, but not as much as it does to us guys.
So one of the easiest ways to improve your chances with women………….get your butt in the gym.
Guys don’t like girls with a gut or “muffin top,” so what makes you think that girls do. If you don’t like the gym, take up a new sport or hobby. Try tennis, bike riding, or soccer. Whatever it is you decide, just get off your butt and do something.
1. It’s healthier for you
2. It will give you more confidence
Guys it’s very simple. The better in shape you are, the more girls who will find you attractive.